Category Archives: Funny Stuff

A slection of cute funny stories regarding my life and some bits about my family.

Relationshiply Anonymous

This is what my title of todays piece means in a few words. Leaving one’s relationship status on facebook blank. The world doesn’t need to know. Putting an end to that awkward moment when she thinks you’re “in a relationship” and you never talked about it in person.

Yep today im working with this idea and here is why. For the last while this scenrio and piece has been going around and around in my head for the last while. Ohh you know what i would love to have a relationship like noah and ally from the book and film the notebook. Now not that i have an issue with the book and film in question but i do think sometimes certain people i know are about one dvd play away from having a bit of a melt down. If you are not familier with the notebook i will post the link up here. its just main ly guy meets girl they get on great yada yada something about where he needs to leave and she has to wait for her man. While she waits for him she meets someone else and cue the handsome guy who comes back to win her heart and well i dont know what happened from there. (i should apologise in advance i just really dont like these tip of films and massive apologies for the bad description of the book) well here is a trailer explaining the film. 

I have nothing against the notebook persay but i do think that at times its the kind of movie that gives you unrealistic expectations for when it comes to love. Ohh its so cute when they fight like cat and dog and ohh its so cute when it comes to their dates and courtships. But all the while while looking at this. I do think at times well some people always nines times out of ten expect romantic gestures like this all the time. I even have friends of mine fantasizing about this epic romance that happens in this film. *sighs* i wish himself would do all these romantic gestures for me. Now while i hear all this i kind of feel akward within myself. I know i should be all like ahh shucks maybe i want some of these to but when i think about it deep down i dont feel the need for romance you know. I dont know whether its because i embarrass easily or having a lack of a romantic side in me but nope not really i dont crave things like that not at all.

If i want hearts and flowers in my own way and style i would look at the likes of kevin smiths film chasing amy. You know the one in where theres a guy in the film called holden mcneil who is a comic book art that created blunt and chronic with this best friend banky. Well holden falls for this incredibly adorable girl or pile of pms alyssa jones.  Now during the film we find out that alyssa has a bit of a past and is well gay. Now during the time of their courtship. They became friends first but when holden feels the need to empty his feelings out to her during a rain soaked night she flips and screams at him saying ohh this cant happen and what not. But i will tell you they do end up together and for that brief second it is quite nice. I think if there is one part of the film which i loved was when they were in bed together and holden asked alyssa why me. her cute response was well you gave me that look and i got all wet. But when she went into detail on her response it was quite i would say one of the sweetest moments ever.But when the bad things start to well interfere with holden and alyssa’s relationship smith really thought that move out and without saying too much you kind of fee thrown for both sides if i be honest   I think for me that is an ideal movie to see for when you think yah i want one of those adult relationships. I think the tagline for chasing amy is sex is easy but love it hard. but it is true in what they say.

chasing amy 1

(Chasing amy)

Even sometimes from my own past i feel that well i was bit reckless in my past relationships but again i dont look upon them and think about them anymore. I hate to sound heartless but i do fee that its best to move onwards and upwards you know and if i be honest here it works out better all round for all those involved. But in saying this and writing this piece i think now im much more stronger than i was years back and i now go into everything with my eyes open wide and have great gusto and well always say look if things do end badly or if we never speak again well i will always have those memories that will make me smile and give me the warm fuzzies to keep me going during the cold winters night 😉

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Posted by on 04/29/2013 in Funny Stuff


my idea of a perfect day

I have to say that i am well chuffed within myself. the last few days have been absolute bliss. So far there has been no stress no arguments or rows or certain people trying to put me down. So i have to say that i am very happy within myself. The last few days have felt like they were planned around little old me. I had thursday off so i went about and did my shopping and paid the bills oh i know the joys of being an adult. I also manage to nearly get to the halfway point of my twilight book so i am nearly at the end of it so i cant wait to see what happens. it will be only  matter of time before i get on to new moon.

I have to say though that friday was a perfect day for me. I got up early and got ready for college. i said hello to rufus aka shep who knocked me down to the ground for hugs and kisses. I actually don’t mind him doing that i hope that when he grows up he will never ever stop doing that. Mind you though he was a bit naughty. I was just about to leave for college when i heard a crash and a yelp from the kitchen. I opened the door slowly to see what happened. It was a funny sight to see. Shep manged to get all my clothes from the wardrobe and my college back and brought it over to his bed. I just looked at him and said look sheppies i will be back soon and when i come back we will play together. Before i even went to get my bag. he started to cry and sat on my back. As much to say your not going to college today so you will have to stay here and play with me. Now this whole routine has happened for the last while. So i have had to do the following. I had to get an old top of mine and put it in his bed. So it has worked ok for the last while. Although shep trys to snuggle into it along with his blanket and his bone. It certainly makes for a Kodak moment. Aww.

Hmm good coffee its better than some other pleasures that we get to have in life.

So while i left rufus i walked up to my favourite coffee house and ordered my breakfast. I love love love full fat milky lattes with an irish cream flavour shot. I know before you say anything its so fattening but hey it tastes so good. So that must be something if anything. I have to say that when i pop my head around the door of my favourite coffee house they always get my cup and favorite coffee drink ready. Which i think makes it more worth while to visit this yummy coffee house. So when i got my coffee fix i than went into college and got that done. I have to say that the assignments are coming on well and i am getting bits and pieces done each day. So yeah all in all a good day had by me.

So i have to say that i am really enjoying these last few days and when i thought it could not get any better. I just found out that there is a Danny Boyle season on Film Four. Danny Boyle is without a doubt a truely wonderful film director. It would be fair to choose one film of his that would be my favourite because i love them all but if i had to choose one. It would be *coughs* train spotting and shallow grave. Oh then there is the beach and slumdog millionaire. I have had a blast over the last few days watching all his films and i might catch a life less ordinary with Ewan McGregor and Cameron Diaz. Its a wonderfully written romantic humour with Danny Boyles black humour and dry wit thrown in for good measure. If you have never seen it please go and check it out. What i also love about Danny Boyles films is that he does amazing storylines with each film. he makes good choices for his leading characters the storylines in his films are wonderfully witty and really really good. I also love the cinematography in each and ever film that danny boyle has made. I also meant to say that Boyle does certainly have a great ear for music i will be including a song called velvet divorce. If you ever get a chance please check out this band. The female lead singer has a great voice. I also love the music and well his leading men that he chooses for his films. I am currently going through a phase of loving scottish men and i really do love ewan mcgregor. I think that he is one handsome man and i would well climb over well difficult objects just to get this attention. Oh god i should stop this girly gushing now ok well just one more time *sighs*.

So i think all in all i have had my perfect few days. Danny Boyle Ewan Mcgregor and full fat lattes and yummy scones it does not get better than this

Seeya later guys


Posted by on 01/16/2010 in Funny Stuff


anyone for fish and chip supper?

fish and chips


While taking my beautiful puppy shep for his morning walk and drink down the sea front we stumbled on this picture and to say the least we both choked on our latte and bowl of water when we say this. I think that i wont be having fish and chips for a long time after seeing that ad.




Poor shep was just sitting there thinking what is the world coming to fish and chips at this price well you can keep them at least i have my milk bones.

I will just relax here and try and not think about fish and chips

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Posted by on 11/10/2009 in Funny Stuff


its christmas go crazy

Hi all

Hope you are all well and happy.  I have been litterly up to my eyes in work and trying to make oh so brief appearances in college so i am sorry about my absence from the blogging front.

So christmas has hit my sleepy little town this weekend thanks to bray town council switching on the lights woo hoo.  The second woo hoo goes to the council again for opening up the car park.  Or as homer simpson would say it d’oh.  Now here is the story on the carpark bray town council decided years back to close the car park and decided to put a shopping centre there now with all the hoo ha of planning and rows over money the council said no to the shopping centre and left us people of bray with a great big dirty hole in the ground which by than was home to thousands of rats.  gross i hear you shout but that is true.  So bray town council has decided to fill the hole and now we have a carpark. 

Now the way i see guys i think its to little to late.  i have seen businesses closing down and many people lossing their jobs over lack of a car park.  I know many people who will be doing their shopping in town and have already got everything done for xmas.  Me im doing ok i have decied to stick to a budget this year and spend an x amount of pressies for my friends and family.  i think the only shopping i will be doing in bray will be my clothes shopping coutesy of two friends that i know and am really fond of who run a really cool clothes shop.  These two people are literly angels and have the best clothes ever and a good choice of range and style without breaking the bank and without melting the credit card.   i have had horrible experienes of a different clothes shop in bray and when i went to return a pair of jeans that i got lets say this they were not in the least bit helpful in dealing with complaints.


The whole christmas shopping thing when it comes to bray is not exactly the best and your not exactly spoilt for choice.  another thing i will say is that i was checking out xmas gift ideas for my bro and allans mens clothes shop of bray is the best for xmas gift ideas for your boyfriend/brother/father/hubby.  i did however did some research of my own for a new mp3 player which i hope santa will get for me and prices again were not too bad but i always get a sense of the salesman drooling everytime when a customer goes in and enquires about a price on such gadgets.  Im like ok relax salesman i am only asking for a price on such gadgets.  Another shop which is really good to go for is gamesstop again im just looking around for prices for my new nintendo DS which i got a few weeks back and to say the least its so cool the graphics are amazing and i also got the nintendogs game whihc is so much fun in itsself.  I adopteda labrador called Max OB and hes so cute and its also great to look after a little ball of fluff its so cool.


One thing that did annoy me though yesterday was bray was so packed and i was on route to work the walk up was easy but when i had to walk down to the shops to get a refreshment for myself i am quite fond of a large bottle of 7 up when im working, I decided to brave the crowds and walk down the shops but it that time bray was black.  So i took a deep breath and walked very quickly down the road.  I got my bottle of 7 up and i thought yippe victory for vicky as i thought as i left the shop but i spoke to soon.  The walk or trek back to work was had very hard.  I littlerly had to crowd surf up the road and by this time people was having none of that so i deiced to do a tackle rugby style so i think you can imagine a small skinny girl running up the road with 7 up in her hand.  But to say the least it was a rubgy tackle that brian o driscoll would have been proud of. oh my god it was funny but really irritatingat the same time people were either standing there looking at me or they tried to knock me down on purpose i was like this sucks.

I decided to use the the breeders song cannonball its so cool and i am having a rocker moment

Oh god bring on Christmas quick and fast that’s all i can say.

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Posted by on 11/23/2008 in Funny Stuff


Hmm had a strange day here

Hi there blogger babes and dudes hope you are well and happy today and life is treating you good.  Hmm to say the least i had a strange day here and without knowing it i got insulted very badly.  yes poor old Vick’s insulted pushed around and nearly knocked down by a group of Little brats and oh yeah i was kept awake by the yappers from next door.  So tonight i will tell you all what happened and how by a good chance of meeting i got to meet a friend i haven’t seen in years so yippee i have a happy story for to nights blog.


So here we go so one and all gather round and i shall tell the tale of my sucky day and how it had a happy ending.  I didnt get much sleep last night due to the neighbours yappy dogs.  My neighbours have 3 of the paris hiltion rat dogs you know the ankle biters that bark just for the sake of barking.  Well the little feckers kept me up all last night by barking and i was in bed tossing and turning trying to block out the noise but alas no use.  So i ended up singing good charlotte songs to myself to try and sleep but that didnt work.  So i stormed out on bed in a temper went to the bathroom opened the window when i was about to scream when i heard a horriable voice going like this shussup lucey and go to bed. that was the dogs only by the way. So with that the dog stopped for the minute when the little shite started up again.  So i screamed at the top of my voice in the bathroom its fucking late and i want to go to sleep but i cant with the f*&^$^$^ dogs barking jesus christ if it doesnt stop there will be hell to pay.  To say the least the barking stopped i breathed a sigh of relief and went to my bed and back to sleep.


A few hours later mum came into my room shes like this i think i heard a witch screaming in the bathroom last night maybe i was dreaming this but i could be wrong.  So i got up and looking like the evil girl from the grudge with the long dark hair i hissed it was me and im sorry if i woke you up but you have no idea what its like not getting any sleep.  She was like ok but why dont you get the dogs sorted out and i said oh dont bloody tempt me i laughed back.  So with that we had a laugh i went back in for a nap and woke up a few hours later much better form to say the least.


I got up had a shower and got dressed.  I wore my black skinnies today i got them in sale last week and thought ah sure why not wear them today.  So i poured myself into my jeans and wore a nice tight black top i have to say i looked very pretty today.  So than i went on my travels than for the day.  I walked up main street bray feeling pretty confident me in my skinnies and freshlyironed hair and i was singing marc boland ride a white swan.  Its such a cool song and rob says when he listens to it it reminds him of me.  I think he means the reference black cat and tattoo on her arm.  Hmm so cool.  When all of a sudden this idiot girl comes up to me and says hello.  Oh hi i said OMGi have so many things to do today and i have to meet my friend cat for lunch than i have to collect my book from the library and than i have a chess date with my friend liam.  So while she was taking all this info into her tiny brain.  i was messing with my mobile texting rob when she said the following sentence to me.

OMG YOUR SO SKINNY HAVE YOU GOT AN EATING DISORDER. I dropped everything and said in a shocked but pissed off manner excuse me why would you say such a thing?  So she kept it up about my so called eating disorder your so skinny do you eat are you sure your eating and so on.  So when she kept going on about her little speech my heart just stopped there and than it was like time stood still.  I slowly snapped out of it and gave her a dagger look as in saying take it back or else.  So she kept it up going on and on when the mobile beeped. OMG im so late i said look i better go see you later and take care.  Make sure a truck doesnt meet your ugly head you idiot i muttered under my breath.

So i walked on up really pissed off and angry.  I stormed up the road hissing to myself how dare she insult me and she doesnt know me to judge me.  I nearly knocked down my friend liam while i was trying to calm down.  he was like are you ok dear no sadly not i said listen i will drop in later or tomorrow for our game of chess and you can fix my lamp.  So he was very nice about that.


But it dawned on me certain people not even complete strangers should never judge anyone on their appearance on their weight height religion or if they lead alternative lifestyle choices.  It really bugs me when people say things about my weight ok im a small girl but guess what i have a big appetite and im a girl who loves her food.  I know some people and have meet some people who are less fortunate about their body image and i think myself if people like that idiot saying a comment like that to me who can shake it off i would have no idea if she said the following comment to someone who did have such an illness.


The issue of weight is a thorny subject if anything and sometimes its a subject that i try and avoid at all times.  My advice i give to people who think that they might have a problem with their weight is to eat healthy get plenty of exercise and drink plenty of water.  I mean its just use your common sense and you will be fine.  I don’t and never have tired these celebrity diets coz i know they never work.  I did try the atkins diet once oh it was great eating lots of meat but no my health started to suffer.  My skin got bad my hair was greasy and i was a total bitch to be with and as for sex all ideas of romance went out the door.  This all took part in a week god help me if it lasted longer.

So i got that poison and negativity out of my system when i decided to treat myself yo a KFC i was hungry and it was my day to spludge so i walked in when i really nice bearded dude started to talk to me.  Ahh hiya you certainly look very well i was like thank you very much i started blushing as i waited in the queue.  I was trying to place him in my head and it was my friend carla it was her brother mark OMG such a small world.  So i grabbed my food and asked him if i could sit next to him.  He said certainly.  We spend ages chatting about everything and anything.  I told him that i was a blogger and proud of it and he was so encouraging so he gave me a positive feedback on my skills and he will be checking my pieces out from here on in.  So it was really nice to see and he looks good she told me he was in australia and he loved it.  i was like OMG i love australia i want to go there and he said you should go.  It was a great chance meeting and a great way to catch up with him.  If i could compare him to a he would like like the dude with the beard from the band INX. 

So yeah it was an ok day and he managed to save a pretty awful day and it was great seeing an old friend.  So guys and girls i am going to leave you with my favourite INX song never tear us apart.  Its such a beautiful song and it reminds me of michael in a way he was such a great talent from australia that was taken away from us to early i hope hes in a happier place so i will leave with this and enjoy.


Just remember one thing to all my fellow bloggers


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Posted by on 08/20/2008 in Funny Stuff



the bebo and myspace addicts

Hmm i have decided to write this piece on my space and bebo because i have had first hand experience of what the bebo experience was like and whay i dont really have much time for it anymore i might give you the link to my bebo page at the end of this blog and you can tell me what you think again i dont use this account any more seeing as adult friend finder have hijacked my account i keep getting emails from so called sexy singles who want to hook me up.  Hmm yeah that what i was thinking i think not.

Ok guys and girls here we go certain names and locations have been changed for privacy reasons.


This is how my bebo affair started up burned well not so brightly made some really bad moves on me had its not so dirty way with me  and than dumped me on the side of the road like a piece of trash. My experince of bebo was like a dodgy one night stand that i dont ever care to remember ever again.


I had my two nephews must of last summer staying with me in my gaff and they were discussing bebo like it was the best thing since sliced bread.  Now i have never used bebo beofre ever i only heard about bebo through the newspapers and how bad it was and how it was rating teachers and slagging them off.  One other story was were there was a form of online bullying on the site and how the users would type up threats to its victims.  I politely asked the older fella what he was talking about and how its great.


I set up a bebo account for the simple reason of keeping an eye on the kids and nothing else.  I can actually you can become a bebo addict you always forever checking yoyr account seeing if your friends are online did you get any emails and did you get any loves.

The bebo thing in my house got pretty messy and at one point violent The youngest threw the eldest on the ground with a body slam move in which i got really scared i had to get rid of bebo well it was either that or be done for child abuse not funny at all ( i would have had the mother giving me a body slam herself so not nice).

I have to say bebo was for me a messy affair and a scary one at that.  I was only told recently that D once spend 8 hours on my PC doing bebo and to say the least i got a little scared with that and knowing the fact that he was on bebo for that amount of time.


So i deicded to cut the cord on bebo i took the broadband box out of my room and gave it to my other half.  When the other two farts when to go on line i left a note on the desk.  I had to get rid of internet was causing too much fights and with that i have decided to bring you guys out for dinner and we can than go to the pictures.  The youngest was ok about it he was like i would like to go to eddies rockets for dinner and i want to see the simpsons movie sure enough i said lets get changed and we will go to it. 

meanwhile the elderset threw a tantrum whay cant i go on the internet he screamed.  I was a bit alarmed to say the least i said well it caused too many fights and with that he called me all the bs and cs under the sun. Right keep it up D and you wont be going out with us i dont care i want bebo i was a bit alarmed and scared.  D i said in a calm voice relax take it easy we will go some where nice and forget about bebo.  To say the least it was a tense night with the boys.  i tried to make light minded conversation but all i got was devil stares.  I was a bitch witch horrable nasty person.


I rang himself the next day and told him what happned its sounds like they are addicted to bebo and they need to get of it so im like help me please.  So he did we gratually weaned them off bebo and to say the least it was a lesson to be learned.


I dont use bebo anymore because i dont have the time to do so 1 and 2 i dont know anyone on it.  Its going to be used for getting in contacts with friends from school and thats it.  I do have a linkin to my bebo page for hollyoaks and thats it really.  I am a self confessed hollyoaks fan i love that show so much so i dont want anyone holding that against me.


i will leave with this note though bebo and myspace are great for scouting new talent in the likely shape and form of lily allen katy perry mark ronson and the klaxtons yipee i totally love emo rockers that can do the brillent rock version of graces 90s hit its not over yet.  Please go over to youtube to check it out

feel free to check out my old bebo page


Posted by on 08/20/2008 in Funny Stuff


hail to the taxi drivers

yes sir ree these guys totally rock my world.  giving me lifts here and dropping me there and coming to recuse me everywhere hee hee am feeling a bit giddy tonight.  I had an early start this morning due to mum she had a doctors apointment so a really nice and new taxi driver came to pick us up this morning nice guys think hes in his 30s and was very chatty.  i had to explain to him about where i was going and bless him he had no clue so i had to give him directions so i was ok in giving him directions and he brought us to our destanation on time and i gave him a tip.  I always tip taxi drivers coz they are nice people and if you stay with a regular service they are always there for you which is great and a good sense of loyailty for both customer and taxi driver alike.


So when mum was done i ordered a taxi back and long behold tattoo taxi driver collects me hes so cool and he tattoos rock he has good and original taste when it comes to tatts and its good to meet someone who has a shared interest in tattoos like myself so its all good.  I have to say this bloke is not only good as his job and is also good at not saying to much when it comes to personal matters like my tatts i think my mum would go really mate if me and tattoo taxi driver started talking about tatts.  So he dropped us home safe i told him a not so funny about a certain person that was trying to break into my house.


The person in question who was trying to break in asked questions about security how many locks on the door why so many locks and so on.  Well i said that its for protection mainly.  So with that the guy said to me well if you lock her from the outside she has no way of getting out.  I looked at this person and said whats your point?  I was starting to get cross and with that your man scarpered up the road.  Oh my god i start to myself he was going to break in to my house rob my stuff and do other horrible nasty things I’m like my god you would rob off your own neighbour.  I haven’t seen that certain person since but I’m heard from a close source he was asking about my stuff in the house.  eg DVD player TV laptop mountain bike so to say the least i have upped the security more you may think I’m nuts but my family’s safety is more important to me than anything else in this life.

I have to say over the last few months with my mum getting sick and me going to the hospital a few times a day the taxi drivers have been great in more ways than one.  So i guess I’m writing this piece to say thanks to all the nice taxi drivers who bring me places that my little legs thanks mainly thanks to katy kins your sense of humour and ability to make me laugh out loud holds no ends and thanks for the good advice on the blog and other stuff.  Curly wurly you always seem to get your hands on good books and you always give mum great advice to mum about Nissan cars tattoo guy for the funny stories and your no non sense attitude to life but also i would like to thank you guys for your discretion Patience and for hooking me up with good tunes.  Oh yeah just to let you know im certainly not giving up my taxi service after all who else can bring me home of im weighted down with shopping or if i get a little tipsy on my JDs and cokes.  Or if im just feeling a little bit tired or if im too scared to walk home alone.




Posted by on 08/19/2008 in Funny Stuff