So last night and well for the last while i have been throwing this piece backwards and forwards in my head so after a long while i have decided that today it will get an airing and a viewing for all my readers now i have had to tweek some details names and locations here to protect the privacy of others and ohh just in advance i give writing ideas and credits to sex and the city and emmett j scanlan and kieran richardson from tvs hollyoaks.
Here is a brief clip from sex and the city and really it does show you what happened when certain people close up that wall.
Now this is how i came up with the idea for this piece. A little while back a good friend of mine got into bit of mess and was very sick. Now being the caring person that i am i took the time out of my own life to look after them. Now the illness was pretty serious so when i got the call that they were very sick i didnt needed to be asked twice to look after this person. So i made my excuses and headed out to my friends house with supplies and even took over a night bag with me. I also made sure that things were ok here eg dog was going to be ok with sitter and also made sure all my work was handed in and than also made sure than people who needed me urgently would get me via mail and text.
Now when i came to visit my friend they were in a sorry state so i took it upon myself to look after them made sure they were ok and got them supplies as well. It was than after a little while of tlc fluffed pillows and a bit of well house work and what not they got better. But all the while this all happened They made the mistake of telling some people of his illness on a social networking site. So again it didn’t really help things it just really hindered them more than anything. Cue idiots saying ohh your faking it and ohh god you really are misfortuned and so on. But it was only told to me in recent times that not only was i the only person who dropped everything to make sure he was ok but i was the only person who rang them back made sure they were ok and demanded that they go to hospital with their illness. So the big question was asked. Why did you do all that for me? It was than i gave the answer your my friend and i care for you and i’m sorry but i would have done the same for you even if i didnt speak to you. Also i did all of the about because i do have a heart and yes i do care a great big deal about you. Im not a nameless or faceless person who only shows interest in your life when it suits me no im a person who cares and well i feel as though that its my right to be there for you and even look after you when you do get sick.
It was than after i had this talk with my friend i came to the idea that well people who do care about other people and other things that maybe passionate about could end up more or less hurt in a lot of ways. I know and have seen it in my own past that i do sometimes end up getting hurt in the end. But i know with my friends circumstances i went in fully prepared and did what i could at that give situation in order to make sure that they were ok. But i do have a question now that well may bite me now so here is my question? Why do people that show a caring side sometimes yet always get hurt. I think its mainly due to the fact for when you do decide to show a caring side towards others they can either see it as a weakness or in some cases a way to take advantage of someone. I do know in the past with well bad choices in men i was not so great in choosing them and when it came to certain things like fights breakups and even rows i was always the one who asked the same question why in the name of sweet h christ cn you not care about me. Why do i always have to be the one that shows you compassion affection even at times love. Why is it that you have this wall around you.
It was only in recent times i found out the answer to this and it was a sad one. It was through a tv show i found the answer to this question. The show in question is hollyoaks and the relationship was centred around ste and brenden. Ste is a young guy who is openly gay and brenden is an irish man who is also gay but could never admit to his lifestyle in fear of what people may say. Now through out the time of the shows beiween benden and ste you could see a somewhat great romance developing but yet there was always strong issues of well feelings and challenges that faced them on a day to day basis. Now when brenden started to show ste any kind of affection he would than slip into his bad ways and than start taking his anger out on ste which is wrong. But when you see what happened in brendens past brendens character was abused as a child by his father you can not help but feel sorry for brenden but i have to say i dont condone violent behaviour but sometimes it would appear we all have each others angels and demons to well deal with and work with them in order to get things done.
Brenden and Ste photocredits digital spy…
But here is my question to you all. Is it ever right to well put up a wall around people and close it up for when people want to get close to you. I think not because i was and well still can be a right stubborne little madame when i want to be. But it was only in recent times i had to give up the stuborn because well it was good for my own sanity and my own relationships here. But hey its working out me so far so good just hope and pray and i can do this all and soon.