I just thought about writing this piece after having an idea of mine coming to me at the wee hours of the morning and also no names are going to be said in this piece to protect privacy as well.
So a little while back 2 really good friends of mine who were married for 15 years decided to call it quits. Now when i heard this news i was shocked right to the core. I thought jesus if they are calling it quits that means there is no hope for me at all so. It sadly turns out that my friends who were the picture of married happiness well sadly one day fell apart and wanted to go their seperate ways. Now they ended everything mutually you know. They divided everything equally even the pets have got joint custody of their mum and dad.
But what made me sad was when i asked them casually what happened. They just said well we just could not be together anymore. I was kind of sad when i heard this and didnt say anymore. But it does bring up the question of well do happy endings only end in fairy tales.
Now i know with my own experience of dating and having long term relationships i for one can say its not easy as it all looks. I mean when my last relationship ended. it was litterly me who had to take a stand and say look things are not working out here. Im tired of the fighting the lying and the crying and also it made me question my own beliefs and sanity as well. When i did finally break up with this person it felt like a huge relief being lifted off my shoulders. I have to admit though i was bitter and very slightly twisted. But again i can only blame myself for this happening. it was lucky for me i had my friend there who was more than good to help me thru everything and in a way she was good in saying look you need to work on yourself before going out to see any1 again.
But i think when it comes to the whole dating scene nothing really happens not at the click of a finger. As you would all agree and than again some might not agree with this relationships even take time and effort and work as well. When i asked my friend about how she met him and how everything worked out. she was like met him ina bar and we went out a few times and than slowly but surely things feel into place and long before you know we got engaged got married and well lived in our own place. Yes there was a few things that happened along the way but we fixed things. It was just sad that we could not work out the marriage side of things and she even said i dont regret anything and sadly it wasnt meant to be.
But i think though when i heard this it made me look into my own life. Sadly because of my own experiences of bad relationships and well being treated badly in my own past. I tend to lash out to the people i care about i tend to nearly destroy my own happiness and nine times out of 10 i have even broken certain things apart because well i didnt think i was worthy enough in it all. but again im human and not perfect but i have learned from the experience massively and now im working on my issues as we speak.
but here is a thing i dont get soulmates. Now i know some people want to keep chasing their soulmates and wanting the perfect wedding the perfect marriage and the perfect happy ending but i have to say this time and again this does not exhist not in this lifestime. Maybe im being cycinal here maybe even being a smart ass but i dont thing such a thing exhist not at all. Here is why if my so called soul mate was here or maybe even in my past life would i have to put up with his lies bs and womanising ways. no i dont think so not at all.
I do think if such a soulmate exhists here is my own version of it. A sould mate is a friend who you meet up with you shoot the breeze and have a laugh with than later down the road if feelings develop than go with it. When you both feel comfortable you can step out as a couple and litterly have the good times with but they also need to handle you in the bad times and even take care of you at times of sickness and loss. no im not saying that you have to but i think that if you do care about that person you will do whatever you can to make them happy and more. but i should strongly advise that you cant rush all this. its litterly like the part of the process that is life.
But i do know now when i write this i am fortunate to have met some people that have made a good impact in my life and have even nearly lost certain people due to my stubborn ways but at the end of the day isnt life meant to be always throwing curveballs at us.
But i will leave you with this if you do happen to meet that some1 who can handle you at your best and worst make sure you keep hold of them and dont let jealous little f**kers try and take them away from you/