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was it worth it?

15 Jun

 

 

 

So today for sum odd reason behold to me i have decided to write on fairy tale happy endings and the perfect relationship. Now just like the easter bunny santa clause and the tooth fairy the happy ending only sadly exists in some children books and some drippy sappy chick flicks and here is the reason. I have spent well the last while in well-doing my own thing of being single than casually hopping around on dates with guys who were good to me and we have remained the best of friends ever since.

But here is the deal why is it that the vomit inducing films that is sex and the city and hes not that into you always give hope to all these single girls. Like so many girls before they have always brought into the ohh maybe he is busy maybe hes gone away or maybe even well hes been abducted by aliens. BUt if im being honest here i have seen and done it all. I have dated a few somewhat idiot guys i have sadly let some gorgeous  boyfriends lovers even potential well dare i say it soul mates slip right thru my skinny little fingers and yes they are times in where i always think f**k i should have not let Liam go away to wherever he is now and i should have really told him ho i felt at that given time. But again i will admit i have been a complete idiot. Im no angel and i have been forth right honest and up front with my ex partners but again dealing with such a sensitive and fragile being that is the male ego is a hard thing to do.

It gets especially harder when it comes to dealing with things as well from the women’s point of view. I too only know what its like the stomach flip the heart beat racing the first signs of contact with the opposite  of sex and the whole getting ready for the meeting and the whole ohh my god did he touch my arm and what not. I have to admit i love romance and the whole its easrly days lets see where this goes feelings but i think now with modern cinema and books. It places to much expection on us mere mortels. I remember not so long back i was in a fling with a pretty cute guy he was nice respectable kind loving. Everything went well until the idiot kicked inside me and started to question everything. Needless to say after a huge fight and a few well broken plates things ended.  Yes i do blame myself and my own actions for letting the break up happen but again it was my own fault. I placed way to much expectation in this dude was a fool to think ok this would go the distant no because i have always gave fully in all matter of relationships and well have in recent times given less of myself to people and have given even more less in my adult friendships and relationships and this is why.  As little girls growing up we are fed these stories of hope and romance and we will all get our prince and live happily ever after these are called fairy tales. Now as much as i love fairy tales they sadly dont guarantee the happy ending when you grow up.

Now dont get me wrong i love fairy tales and happy endings and no women or even man should be made feel ashamed of wanting their happy ending so bad but again its work and it takes time dedication and in some cases work. I have known some of my good friends in recent times taken time out from their long term relationships and sadly i cant remember the last engagement party i was invited to but again the writing seems to be on the wall with a lot of couples and people that i have known of late. I have to say that when i do my friends for coffee they always joyfully say ohh my god your so lucky your pretty you have your gorgeous dog and you lead this life carefree with no boyfriend please for the love of god swap places with me. Now i have to admit i have heard this quite a lot of late. You know the whole fuck it im not happy with the BF and i need your advice on this matter coffee talk. Now without going into certain details i think i might have a fair answer into whats been happening with my now single friends when they were in relationships it was nothing but hassle. Ohh your man bloody pissing me off and well im not happy with this and that and the other. I would also sit there patiently try and not roll my eyes or tweet on my phone while listening to all this and do you know why some people are not in relationships anymore because well people dont put in the effort anymore.

I have seen in recent times that a really good friend of mine was in a relationship i would believe about 7 years but towards the last 2 years things got all messy and well it was like a scene between depress ville and shit street. Things were not good at all and well she was taken a time out from him every few weeks and than she had that we need to talk moment with me. Needless to say i was going through my own stuff with a few things going on and i just said look if he worth the BS the drama the whole alice copper look with maschera running down her eyes look. She than just looked at me and said no hes not worth it. Sadly that week they broke up and havent spoken to each other since but sometimes the savage break up is needed in order to well think about what you want and need in your life.

But ever since my friend broke up with her bf she feels free she feels happier looks younger and even well partakes in swing dance classes and even partakes in speed dating events through out the city. I think though when you go through the bad times you need to take a time out and assess well i have to see what i want and embrace the good times. Now i did say earlier that i havent being putting much time in my own relationships and friendships but here is the reason why. When everything happened in the last while with my beverment i wanted to run away and hide. I wanted to sit in a dark room cry my eyes and heart out and just generally be on my own. I think though in doing that i made and saved myself from going insane and im thankful for taking the time out. I now feel stronger happier i know what i want and who i want it from.

I also think of late a few close friends of mine have said oh my god your so strong emotionally how do you do it. I just say look i just go away from time to time evaulate all my relationhips and than decide what i want and who i want it from. I also dont brag and say things on social networking sites about certain things and if i do meet any1 it wont be going online. I really do value all my friendships and more but sometimes certain things should be kept secret and locked up and put away in a wee little box so no one else can partake in your happiness and say oohh shes happy maybe i should tap into that. I think though also i go into everything with my own eyes wide open and dont assume things ever. As a wise man once said to me love and feelings run together on a completey different path and well they run together hand in hand in their own time.

 

I mean i know certain people who want the fairy tale happy ending but again you cant force such things i think for any1 who wants their happy ending just take your time wait for it dont ever settle for second best and just let it happen. It should not matter about time when it comes to these things. I just think everything will fall into place just like day follows night. Sometimes only sometimes when you do start seeing some1 whether it be a new partner or a long time friend they only thing that should really matter is well you and him and no one else should really get into your business. i do know that some people of late have been doing the secret relationship thing and well its working for them very well and in some cases its not working at all. I just think about it like this if your both happy with what your doing than f**k the rest of them and also tell them to F**k the right off of they do come in and stir the shite at the of the day the shit stirs are not worth it only you and him are worth it in the end.

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Posted by on 06/15/2012 in daily rants

 

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