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A view from the broken hearted.

10 Nov

 

If you care to take 5 mins out to read my little poem that  got from yahoo images

 

Right for the last while i have been ducking and diving. I have spend long nights looking at my laptop thinking just thinking of what to write. Afet much careful thought and much neede research i have deiced to do this blog on heart ache. No not the tip of heartache that you get from eating spicy food or pregnancy. No no the type of heart that you get from soending time with someone who thought loved you and wanted to be with you until you find out that he was just stringing you all along.

So i think for this piece i will write my own personal experience on heart break how to deal with it and more importantly how to move on.

Firstly i would have to say that heart break is a bloody bastard to deal with. I think when the idiot that i was with deicided to break my heart was the first year we were we together. he decided to get slaughtered and do the business of going uo to my home and finishing with me in fornt of his mates. While he laughed and joked doing this. I was in pieces i couldnt believe what happened.  I was in shock over the way that he did it and it pissed me off hugely but again this was always his way of doing this. I decided that he wasnt worth it and slowly but surely the calls came in the whole you know im sorry and the drink was talking blah blah blah. So me being an idiot i took him back. Now when i look back it was the worse decison ever. Now fast forward some time later and lets say this to cut a long story short. the path of true love would no be filled with lies mistrust and the whole fact that i had to be always second best in everytning.

Now i am not going to spend an entire blog talking about this idiot asshole who broke my heart no no. In actaul fact i now feel so so much better.  I can now say that i feel like new. I now wake up feeling actaully happy for a change and i actaully feel alive.  But this was not always the case. i have to say that the arsehile who broke my heart actaully made me feel bad within myself. So like anything else heart break does take time and lots of it. It can take a lot of things to help oneself back to a healthy more happy you.

 

So i know from my experience of heart ache i have learned a few things about. I have learned that i am much happier by myself. I can also do the single things that i like to do myself like for example i can now go to the cinema and enjoy a trashy good fluick without someone saying grrrrrr do we have to see this film. I also find that going to the cinema you dont need to share your goodies with anyone that you dont like at all.  I also have to say that being single has a opened my eyes a lot. I have to say that i really do like what i see. I can also think for myself and i dont now have to go anywhere without having to say teh WE word. We will go to the gig WE will stay in and ect ect. BUt now that i am single i have to say that being single has its perks. I can now do the sideways glace of any cute person that might walk into my direction. I can also read my trashy jackie collins books in any place i want without getting judged. I can also eat whatever i want. I think when i was with arsehole he would always say why do you eat such bad foods? I can now put my hand on my heart and say ahh bollox i will eat what i want when i want anyone care for hagen dazz cookies and cream ice cream.

I can also say now that i have a new found respect for the many things that i like to enjoy and have in my life. My ex hated twilight for example. he would also get upset and say you live in a fantasy world of vampires and were wolves and they dont exist. Now that i am single i can now whole heartly enjoy my twilight films and books. I can now even wear my team edward t shirt without feeling embarresed or ashamed. I can also say that now i can actaully read more books now that i have my own private time. So far i have read wuthering heights that my lovely italian friend anna got me. I have also managed to get a copy of the time travlers wife as well. So yes i may i have been beoken hearted but reading romantic novels has not put me off finding my soul mate. In actaully fact its my way of escapism and no i dont have to explain myself to anyone by reading thse books.

I also have to say that i have found a new respect for how do you say self help books and in some cases films. The film i would recommand to anyone who is going thru a sad time is hes not that into you. Yes corny as it may should i have to say its a great film good fr a laugh and giggle and its a good girly film as well. The book with the same title has also been great and it has also helped me get thru this very hard time as well.

I would also recommand to any1 who has broken up make sure that you have a good support network of friends to well help you out. Even if you cant see them go on facebook and have a wee chat. I think that over the last while my facebook friends have been the glue that have kept me toegther. wheter its been the cheeky staus updates or the cheeky photos i get or whether its the vitiral hugs that i get off my friends. It really can make someones day. In my case my facebook friends have kept me from falling apart and in actaul fact have kept me strong all though this hard time. Guys and girls i would like to thank you for helping me thru this hard time and i lovce each and every one of you all.

I think alos with a break up you do take time to take stock of your life. For the last while i have been doing holistic health studies and when this shite started to happen well my studies got affected badly. But not to badly tahnk goodness but when i think about it in a way BFs and studies dont actaully work together. So while i have been taken time out i have now decided that i am going to stick with my holistic studies and when and if i go back i dont know. But we will have to wait and see.

I would also recommand that if you and the ex had a special song on your ipod mp3 player please please get rid of it. We did have a certain song and now thanks to listening hours of rage against the machine i now feel kind of better in a way. I hav also listened to linkin park as well. i have to say that those boys have kept me going thruout this hard time. I can also say that when you start a fresh try and get new music on your ipod. So far i have out a massive amount of muse linkin park U2 and i also put some green day on the ipod. Even you have a few guilty pleaseures such as kylie puth tme on this way if you feel down within yourself if you put on your favourtie song it will cheer you up. Dont for the love of god put on sinead o connor oh good god i have to say that i hate this song it reminds me on my ex and when he broke up with his ex he listened to this song it was nals on a chalk board talk about awkard.

 

sense of style.

When you break up with some1 its always good to change the wardrobe and try and get rid of clothes that reminds you of the ex.  I have well got rid of a few things that my ex brought me and i just gave them to a charity shop. I think that when i break up with some1 i dont want things in my wardrobe that remind me of him. I also got my hair cut as well. It maybe be a cliche but sense of i have got my hair trimmed not cut and now that i wear different peices of clothes i now feel much better within myself. I can now stand tall and i now feel good within myself. After all life is to short to be stuck in the past. For every girl out there there is nothing worng with getting a sexy not slutty dress. i would suggest that you go out and wear it. remember you dont need to wear it fro the male attention but its a good way of seeing yourself in a different light.

You laugh i laugh you cry i cry

Who ever said that cryins is a sign of weakness is a total liar and bulls shitter and i think also they could be a man. I am being honest here when i was going thru the break up. I cried course i cried a whole lot. I even had days of gidng in my room over the SOB but you know i felt better for it. I even cried during the vampire sucks trailer but now that am all cried out i do feel better.  I think that when we cry its a good sign to get the pain and frusration out. Its a bad thing to keep it inside you and in the long run it does not do you any good. But be warned ladies if you do cry please make sure you have super cool looking big glasses to wear. I think when i finsihed crying i looked like alice copper. Also if you feel like crying in any public place try and bite your lip that way your brain you will focus more on the lip pain and its a good way tp draw attention away from yourself.  It also helps if you get a sad flm so remember if you do feel sad dont hold it in let it out.

Starting fresh

I have to say that now i am newly single i have to say that i have managed to get in touch wiht my old friends and even though some people are in different parts of ireland england soctland south africa america australia and even in iraq. Its doesnt cost much to say hi. Now i have been in contact with everyone thru facebook and have even rang a few of my friends its just that i have lost all contact with my friends while i was with ass hole but now im grateful that they havent punished me in any way shape or form. You see good friends can even be there for you even at the mast testing of times and for that i am so so grateful that my friends where there for me. I know i have said this before i thnk you again for being there and im sorry for being such a clueless idiot and putting jackass beofre you guys. I would also recommand trying to start yourself up again. I have made the decision to go out to dublin city once a month. Mainly because of the fact that i need a new set of friends and who knows. Now i hope i dont get slaughtered for thsi but i have also tried speed dating and so far its been ok and i hava also tried internet dating and so far its been good. Its actaully been fun and i have had  blast but again this internet dating business is another blog place for another day.

So i do hope who eve reads this will try and not take my advice too seriously after all i have may had my heart broken but im not an expect in how you should get it fixed.

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4 Comments

Posted by on 11/10/2010 in friends

 

4 responses to “A view from the broken hearted.

  1. K8

    11/10/2010 at 11:32 pm

    I’m so sorry for your heartache, that stuff leaves beautiful scars on your soul though, you’ll be stronger for it, believe me.

    Have you ever read a book called ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger? Totally unrelated, but it’s a book I think you’d love.

     
  2. Stacey

    11/16/2010 at 7:07 pm

    Very kewl. Thought I’d check our your blog and I like what I read (:

     
  3. vagab0ndage

    11/20/2010 at 4:45 pm

    @ k8 the gr8 i have to say that i feel so much better for the fact that hes now gone and you were right along. Thanks again for the wonderful advice and i will give the catcher in the rye a go. YOur ma recomanded that i read the time travelers wife and i have to say i am ejoying it very much.

    @ stacey thanks again for dropping in dude. Im glad some one like what i write.

     
  4. Shambo

    11/29/2010 at 12:48 am

    I second the Catcher in the Rye.

     

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