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Monthly Archives: November 2010

An irish girls view of dating

 

is it too much is what i ask for in a bloke hmmm i dont so

So as you may well know i have been enjoying the playing the role of playing the single girl. so far its been good i mean like i like knowing the fact that i dont have someone to answer to. Also its been great having this much needed time out from being with someone. But again it would be nice to meet someone. I already have the person in mind i would like to meet. But according to some people my expections are a wee bit high. You see i like a certain type of bloke. He has to be tall have a good personality can make me laugh be a good cook and also like to go out and maybe stay in cook for me. Hmmmmm when i look at this now i suppose it is asking for way to much but hey im a girl who knows what she wants and will do and go anything that is possbile get it. But you see its always good to have choices.

I mean like i have to admit that i like ahem i do like certain guys and of late i have had a thing for australian guys.  let me guess you are properly wondering why well they are cute one. two they have wicked personalitys three they can make me laugh and if i kept going on about how much i love autralian guys i would be here like all night long. But in this day and age i think every girl has a right to decide what she wants in her life. I mean i wont even go there with what happened to the last guy i was with mr ratbag but hey you know life is way to short and its always good to know what you want. 

So i have recently went on a dating website and so far its been pretty good.  Its like doing speed dating at home. So far without giving too much away its being very good. there is a few good matches  on the site and i was happy to check them out. You see the current website im using is free unlike some other dating websites in which you pay a stupid amount of money in order just to see the photos and to also open un your emails i mean come on. The fee that i would have to pay for this site would go towards dinner and drinks its thats expensive. But hey you know what the current website im using is very good. But i think that with going online its actaully not all that bad.

I remember when i started to date first i would go out to nightclubs pick guys up talk to them exchange numbers. No i was never one for 1 night stands i will not comment on this for the simple reason that certain people think that one night stabds are great. But i think if you want to be used and abused in a given situation like this than go for it. But no im more traditional i prefere to go for coffee drink dinner and see how we both get on. But so far the online dating wbesite has been very good. I have met a few nice people and maybe just maybe who knows.

But i think maybe i just might try the going out to gigs and club scene again but i shall not be doing this in my local town. I know about half dozen idiots who would just would drive me crazy. Also when your out and about from your own town its litterly your osyter. So yes im going to keep an open mind in this whole dating thing whiter be it online or out in the gig nghtclub scene but if im being honest here. I have an idea of what i want in my guy but does he have the idea or do i need to keep dropping hints in order for him to get the hint who knows.

All i can say is watch this space……………..

 
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Posted by on 11/28/2010 in daily rants

 

Life is awesome

The time travelers wife such an awesome book to read

 

I should really dedicate this piece so i will. This to to my many friends wh have helped me theu the hard time that i have been going thru over the last while and thanks for the messages and phone calls texts and coffee meeting. I love each and every one of you all and more importantly thank for not giving me a hard time. Also thanks to though who have not felt the need to keep judging me over the past mistakes that i have done over the last while.

So i have to say this in a big loud voice my life is now awesome. I can now actaully say that for the first time in ages i feel and actaully look happy for a change. For those if you who dont know what im talking about i have well agaes back have finally called time on a bad relationship that i was in. In fact it was over a long time ago i guess i was just at a loss of when to pull the plug on this relationship.  But now after much thinking and time alone and time spend with my good friends i now know what i want in my life.

But i also think that now that i have single i have more time to think abot what i want and what i need in my life. I have deicded that i want some time to myself to think about what i want. What i want is ????????….. Now that would be telling but again i have always went with my heart when it has come to makng decisons in regarding my life. But i think now it should be about me and what i want and i wont be listening to people on the standards of what they want for me in my own life.

But i guess being single is not all that bad. I can now do things for myself and learn more about myself during this time. I think if anything i have taken up reading again. I have to say the book i am enjoying at the moment is the time travelers wife audrey niffenegger. I have to say its a wonderful book. One for the girls though its about this guy called henry and this girl called clare. Now henry and clare dont have the idea standards of what you would call a perfect relationship. henry is a time traveler and he would slip in and of clares life at different stages of her life. The first time henry meets clare is when she is 6 years and henry is 36 years old.   when calre meets henry its quite funny she actually hits him with her shoe which made me laugh coz at such a young age shes very feisty and  i have to say that I can see a bit of myself in clares charcter throughout the whole book All through out the book henry and clare meet up through the book at different times in her life.  So what happens to the time traveler and his wife do they meet up and so on and do they have a happy ending. Im not going to say but so fair im really enjoying the book very much. i would also like to say thanks to K8 the gr8’s mum for recommanding such a good book for me to read.

I have also found now that i am single i can actaully do things that doesnt actaully need a partner to be with. For example i can now go to dinner on my own.  In fact i now do a thing of going to dinner by myself once a month. i do into my favourite resturant order my favourite pasta meal and sit there and eat alone. So people have evn said to me oh how could you do that and do you not feel self conscience about going out alone. My answer to people who say this to me is no. I dont feel alone in fact im either way to busy with my book or my own thoughts to even think about being alone.

But i can also say that i do feel comfortable in my own skin. i can now venture out to resturants gigs and even go to the cinema alone and you know what i actaully feel great for it.  I mean i have done the whole dating thing of going to the cinema and sometimes i woudld also end up watcing some film that i dont like seeing and i just settle with my date to watch the damn film. BUt now that i am single i can now happy go along with my own idea of what i want to see in a cinema in town. No it does not have to always be harry potter or teilight for that matter. But i suppose it des help if there is a cute male actor and a good storyline in it. I can now also say that i might even try the night life. I dont really like the nightlife in my town. My good friend has even said that this town is a joke for even a single cute female myself to hang out in. So maybe just maybe i might start to hang out in town. I also like the way i just just hop onto a bus in town and if i ger bored in one place i can just move on to another place.

But i have to say now that i am single i have more time to do what i want and how i go about things in my own way. I have also recently decided to learn italian. So far its going great and this sill will come in very handy if i go to italian resturants in town or maybe if i travel to italy who knows maybe one day i will.

But you see like at the end of the day being single is not the death of romance. im just single coz i want to be and more importantly im doing for me coz at the end of the day i need my won headspace after all.  I have also leanred that i wont be settling for 2nd best any more and why you ask coz if i settle for second best well than i will never be happy.  Also its not all that bad to have a choice in what i want for my next partner as well. So if anyone knows of a tall good looking eric bana austarlian type of guy please direct me on the right direction. hee hee and also its good to have choices as well.

So yeah like i said life is awesome and may i say that i am now so much happier for having my good friends along with me to help me thru the bad times and the good. You know who you all are and i love each and everyone of you all and thanks again for the support. I know without your support i would have been lost without you.

 
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Posted by on 11/20/2010 in friends

 

A view from the broken hearted.

 

If you care to take 5 mins out to read my little poem that  got from yahoo images

 

Right for the last while i have been ducking and diving. I have spend long nights looking at my laptop thinking just thinking of what to write. Afet much careful thought and much neede research i have deiced to do this blog on heart ache. No not the tip of heartache that you get from eating spicy food or pregnancy. No no the type of heart that you get from soending time with someone who thought loved you and wanted to be with you until you find out that he was just stringing you all along.

So i think for this piece i will write my own personal experience on heart break how to deal with it and more importantly how to move on.

Firstly i would have to say that heart break is a bloody bastard to deal with. I think when the idiot that i was with deicided to break my heart was the first year we were we together. he decided to get slaughtered and do the business of going uo to my home and finishing with me in fornt of his mates. While he laughed and joked doing this. I was in pieces i couldnt believe what happened.  I was in shock over the way that he did it and it pissed me off hugely but again this was always his way of doing this. I decided that he wasnt worth it and slowly but surely the calls came in the whole you know im sorry and the drink was talking blah blah blah. So me being an idiot i took him back. Now when i look back it was the worse decison ever. Now fast forward some time later and lets say this to cut a long story short. the path of true love would no be filled with lies mistrust and the whole fact that i had to be always second best in everytning.

Now i am not going to spend an entire blog talking about this idiot asshole who broke my heart no no. In actaul fact i now feel so so much better.  I can now say that i feel like new. I now wake up feeling actaully happy for a change and i actaully feel alive.  But this was not always the case. i have to say that the arsehile who broke my heart actaully made me feel bad within myself. So like anything else heart break does take time and lots of it. It can take a lot of things to help oneself back to a healthy more happy you.

 

So i know from my experience of heart ache i have learned a few things about. I have learned that i am much happier by myself. I can also do the single things that i like to do myself like for example i can now go to the cinema and enjoy a trashy good fluick without someone saying grrrrrr do we have to see this film. I also find that going to the cinema you dont need to share your goodies with anyone that you dont like at all.  I also have to say that being single has a opened my eyes a lot. I have to say that i really do like what i see. I can also think for myself and i dont now have to go anywhere without having to say teh WE word. We will go to the gig WE will stay in and ect ect. BUt now that i am single i have to say that being single has its perks. I can now do the sideways glace of any cute person that might walk into my direction. I can also read my trashy jackie collins books in any place i want without getting judged. I can also eat whatever i want. I think when i was with arsehole he would always say why do you eat such bad foods? I can now put my hand on my heart and say ahh bollox i will eat what i want when i want anyone care for hagen dazz cookies and cream ice cream.

I can also say now that i have a new found respect for the many things that i like to enjoy and have in my life. My ex hated twilight for example. he would also get upset and say you live in a fantasy world of vampires and were wolves and they dont exist. Now that i am single i can now whole heartly enjoy my twilight films and books. I can now even wear my team edward t shirt without feeling embarresed or ashamed. I can also say that now i can actaully read more books now that i have my own private time. So far i have read wuthering heights that my lovely italian friend anna got me. I have also managed to get a copy of the time travlers wife as well. So yes i may i have been beoken hearted but reading romantic novels has not put me off finding my soul mate. In actaully fact its my way of escapism and no i dont have to explain myself to anyone by reading thse books.

I also have to say that i have found a new respect for how do you say self help books and in some cases films. The film i would recommand to anyone who is going thru a sad time is hes not that into you. Yes corny as it may should i have to say its a great film good fr a laugh and giggle and its a good girly film as well. The book with the same title has also been great and it has also helped me get thru this very hard time as well.

I would also recommand to any1 who has broken up make sure that you have a good support network of friends to well help you out. Even if you cant see them go on facebook and have a wee chat. I think that over the last while my facebook friends have been the glue that have kept me toegther. wheter its been the cheeky staus updates or the cheeky photos i get or whether its the vitiral hugs that i get off my friends. It really can make someones day. In my case my facebook friends have kept me from falling apart and in actaul fact have kept me strong all though this hard time. Guys and girls i would like to thank you for helping me thru this hard time and i lovce each and every one of you all.

I think alos with a break up you do take time to take stock of your life. For the last while i have been doing holistic health studies and when this shite started to happen well my studies got affected badly. But not to badly tahnk goodness but when i think about it in a way BFs and studies dont actaully work together. So while i have been taken time out i have now decided that i am going to stick with my holistic studies and when and if i go back i dont know. But we will have to wait and see.

I would also recommand that if you and the ex had a special song on your ipod mp3 player please please get rid of it. We did have a certain song and now thanks to listening hours of rage against the machine i now feel kind of better in a way. I hav also listened to linkin park as well. i have to say that those boys have kept me going thruout this hard time. I can also say that when you start a fresh try and get new music on your ipod. So far i have out a massive amount of muse linkin park U2 and i also put some green day on the ipod. Even you have a few guilty pleaseures such as kylie puth tme on this way if you feel down within yourself if you put on your favourtie song it will cheer you up. Dont for the love of god put on sinead o connor oh good god i have to say that i hate this song it reminds me on my ex and when he broke up with his ex he listened to this song it was nals on a chalk board talk about awkard.

 

sense of style.

When you break up with some1 its always good to change the wardrobe and try and get rid of clothes that reminds you of the ex.  I have well got rid of a few things that my ex brought me and i just gave them to a charity shop. I think that when i break up with some1 i dont want things in my wardrobe that remind me of him. I also got my hair cut as well. It maybe be a cliche but sense of i have got my hair trimmed not cut and now that i wear different peices of clothes i now feel much better within myself. I can now stand tall and i now feel good within myself. After all life is to short to be stuck in the past. For every girl out there there is nothing worng with getting a sexy not slutty dress. i would suggest that you go out and wear it. remember you dont need to wear it fro the male attention but its a good way of seeing yourself in a different light.

You laugh i laugh you cry i cry

Who ever said that cryins is a sign of weakness is a total liar and bulls shitter and i think also they could be a man. I am being honest here when i was going thru the break up. I cried course i cried a whole lot. I even had days of gidng in my room over the SOB but you know i felt better for it. I even cried during the vampire sucks trailer but now that am all cried out i do feel better.  I think that when we cry its a good sign to get the pain and frusration out. Its a bad thing to keep it inside you and in the long run it does not do you any good. But be warned ladies if you do cry please make sure you have super cool looking big glasses to wear. I think when i finsihed crying i looked like alice copper. Also if you feel like crying in any public place try and bite your lip that way your brain you will focus more on the lip pain and its a good way tp draw attention away from yourself.  It also helps if you get a sad flm so remember if you do feel sad dont hold it in let it out.

Starting fresh

I have to say that now i am newly single i have to say that i have managed to get in touch wiht my old friends and even though some people are in different parts of ireland england soctland south africa america australia and even in iraq. Its doesnt cost much to say hi. Now i have been in contact with everyone thru facebook and have even rang a few of my friends its just that i have lost all contact with my friends while i was with ass hole but now im grateful that they havent punished me in any way shape or form. You see good friends can even be there for you even at the mast testing of times and for that i am so so grateful that my friends where there for me. I know i have said this before i thnk you again for being there and im sorry for being such a clueless idiot and putting jackass beofre you guys. I would also recommand trying to start yourself up again. I have made the decision to go out to dublin city once a month. Mainly because of the fact that i need a new set of friends and who knows. Now i hope i dont get slaughtered for thsi but i have also tried speed dating and so far its been ok and i hava also tried internet dating and so far its been good. Its actaully been fun and i have had  blast but again this internet dating business is another blog place for another day.

So i do hope who eve reads this will try and not take my advice too seriously after all i have may had my heart broken but im not an expect in how you should get it fixed.

 
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Posted by on 11/10/2010 in friends